“Why would it be so wrong when it feels so right?” For more or less a decade, I’ve been living my life in line with that statement. I wanted to live my life MY way. I’ve been so preoccupied and overwhelmed by the extreme happiness that I felt that I tend to forget things that should be done in the span of time that God had given me. I was, indeed, lost. But then, I found myself again in the encounter and everything I’ve done took the U-turn and hit me bull’s eye.
Youngest. Only girl. Spoiled brat. A Prodigal Daughter. I came from a family where attention is never a problem. We experience financial problems yet my parents are responsible enough to provide us our needs. They’ve sent me into one of the most prestigious schools in the country for me to have a good future. They’ve been so supportive in all aspects and they never lack care. Certainly, I have one of the best parents and brothers in the world. I am undeniably so loved and with that-- I am blessed. But what did I do in return?! I took them for granted. I always wanted to get what I want. I’ve been so self-centred. I had the nerve to always complain about my allowance considering that it’s more than enough for a UP student knowing that it’s the best that they could give when I couldn’t even give them good grades and didn’t care to fail a subject because of excessive late and absences. I wasted the opportunity given to me after I have been included in the 12% UPCAT passers in my batch and disgustingly, wasted my family’s effort for four long years. And worse, I came to the point of loving someone more than anyone else in this world- more than my family and worst, more than God.
He was my ISAAC. He was my most precious one, my beloved, and almost “my everything”. For more than two years, my world evolved in him. I couldn’t help myself but be weary when he’s out of my sight, I couldn’t concentrate with my studies when we’re on fight and it was always hard to say no in his delight. I even deceived my parents for our relationship’s sake several times which only the two of us knew for we were once branded as “perfect couple”. Everything about us was so perfect in the eyes of people around us and in our eyes because we’ve been blinded by the extreme happiness that we felt and the “love (?)” we’ve shared.
Then GOD ENCOUNTER entered the scene, a 3-day event that touched every participant’s life and slapped me on the face BIG TIME! Realizations gushed through my whole being and I went home.. renewed. I decided to go for change- to live my life in GOD’s way. I started removing my negative sides and through the process, I reached the point of giving up my ISAAC.
I tell you, it was hard. 2 years and 6 months of living in our world is never too easy to abandon and forget, yet I strived because it’s God’s will, I’m on the right track and I’ve already learned to love God more than him. Without the encounter, I am certain that you cannot see me now for I am, maybe, somewhere down the roads of Davao City with my so-called Isaac overshadowed by the feeling of temporary happiness. But look at me now.. I am fighting and soon I will conquer this battle because through that encounter, I am always reminded that everything in this world is temporary. The pain, therefore, is just temporary and what we had was just part of my growth and in God’s time, my sacrifice will be worth it for there is greater reward in heaven waiting for me. “God will never leave us empty, He will replace everything we lost and if He asks us to put something down, it’s because He wants us to pick up something better”.
We have different struggles but no matter how great our struggles are, with determination to finish the race and with God by our side, I know that soon “real happiness” will move towards us and will be with us for the longest time. So be with me as I live my life in line with this statement, “Why would I be wrong when I know how to be right?”
We will never quit! ☺
WRITTEN LAST APRIL 23, 2009
