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Saturday, April 3, 2010

SHOP wisely..


"The timing of many dating relationships is equivalent to going shopping for an outfit when you don't have any money; even if you find the "perfect fit," what can you do about it?



When we shop, we have this common goal: To buy the best in the display. But this goal is not always achieved. Why? Hmm. I'll mention some points here (these are based on what I have observed from the people around me whenever they go shopping and also based on my personal experience)..

(a) First, we're on a hurry. Whenever I go shopping and my time's limited, I end up grabbing the first thing I'll see or the one which is familiar or somewhat familiar to me. In some cases, I tend to pick the one that catches my attention, which is not necessarily the best. Come what may.
And this is what usually happens to relationships nowadays. People who are in a kind of rush to get married fall in the hands of the wrong people. In turn, their married life is also a'come what may'.


(b) Second, our budget is not enough. In malls, especially in the clothing section, I always have a hard time in deciding what to buy. Sometimes, the reason behind is that I'm torn among a number of choices. But usually, the reason is that I have seen the thing I want to bring into the counter but I have no enough money in the pocket. So I end up buying the second, third, fourth or the nth best. The one that fits my budget. Tsk3. So saaaad. If only I have waited longer, I could have saved money and bought what I really wanted.
This is often the case of many couples today. Because they have not waited for the right time, even if they would not admit it (for some reasons), they knew it in their hearts that they've settled for less. The result? Either they regret or they're forced to accept their fate because they're left with no choice.


(c) Third, we are overwhelmed by the word 'SALE' hanging around every corner. Sometimes, when we go shopping and we see these signs-- "SALE", "up to 50% discount", "BUY 1 TAKE 1", etc-- we have the tendency to ignore the things excluded in the promo. We then start to look for the one that fits us well among the 'rejects' of the original display items.
This also happens in most of relationships. I, for one, have done the same thing way back in high school. 'USO' as what they call it. Because you can see it anywhere, you are also encouraged to try it-- 'uyab2x'. Tsk. And you know what I have observed? The ones that you bought on sale are usually, if not always, the ones you could easily give up. And this is also true in relationships.


(d) The last (as of now) and the worst, we don't have money. We call it 'window shopping'. For some, an avenue for 'shop-lifting'. Hmm. We see something appealing, say blouse. We go to the fitting room, try it and find that it looks good on us. Whoa! That's good. But there's a problem, we don't have money. So how's that?? hahaha!
So this is what Joshua meant when he wrote the line, "You don't need to shop for what you can't afford." If you're not yet ready for commitment which is to get into marriage, then stop bothering yourself to look for someone to 'complete you' (how cheesy). It's God's job. Let's not deprive Him of His right. After all, it's for our benefit.


So, as you can see.. I have a big check on my forehead again. Haha! I'm loving IKDG even more. We must not settle for less if there is best. Let's do our future spouses a favor and stop shopping around prematurely. What we need? It's TRUST. And patience, too! Because, you know.. It's good to shop when you have all the time you need and you're provided with more than enough money by your Father. Now, that's a wise shopping! :)

Thursday, April 1, 2010

You slapped me BIG TIME!


"But you don't have to go out on a date to become inappropriately intimate. You can do that over the phone, via e-mail, or on a group dates."





It took me a few minutes to take my eyes off from these. I couldn't help but feel convicted. I made a vow to God that the next guy I'd be intimate with will be my husband but reading these lines, I am slapped in my face with the fact that I already violated my covenant to Him. Little did I know that even during the time I broke up with my recent ex-boyfriend, I was already starting to violate the covenant I made with God because I was already enjoying the relationship we branded as "FRIENDSHIP" outside its real scope. Tsk.

I even reached the point of saying "yes" to the invitations of the people close to him just because I thought it would be okay since we're in group. I forgot that what really matters is the motive behind my every decision or action. And oh.. Talking over the phone for more or less 6 hours was just normal. Haaayyy..

Actually, I'm starting to miss those times. But I'd rather miss it than to remain soaked in that wrong form of dating. As what Joshua Harris said in the 2nd chapter of his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, "Intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick."

Hmm. I am glad he first read the book and thought of recommending it to me. And I'm thankful to God, He rescued us before it's too late. At least, we didn't hurt each other that much. It's still a long way to go but I'm praying we will both endure. The halt is surely a struggle, missing the closeness we once shared, but we know that someday-- whether we are for each other or for someone else-- we've made the right decision for both of us.