I DECIDED THEREFORE I AM.. TRANSFORMED.

It's a great feeling to be closer to God.
I am happy seeing the results of my labors.
I now have an extra family, my spiritual family.
I'm in the process of learning how to see things in the right perspective.
Unlike before, I seldom crave for material things.
I do not pray only because I have something to ask for but also because I realized there are lot of things I should thank Him for.
Now, eating to satisfy my body and mind go along with the satisfaction of the soul.
It's now easier to forgive than to leave things unsolved.
I reconsider rather than judge.
I value execution more than mere thinking.
And most importantly, I learned how to understand my parents when they couldn't provide me with all I need.

God loves me.. so do I.



*this post's originally written right after the encounter*

When you obey, He will repay..

Lately, I have so many problems to deal with and challenges to overcome. Aside from the "always" busy schedule and the tons of school works to accomplish, I have been challenged emotionally and spiritually.

I've been and I still am doing my SP proposal (that is equivalent to other course' thesis in our degree program). The method's new to me. Actually, I will be the second one to apply such mathematical method in the history of BS Applied Mathematics in our University. And I have to admit, I almost wanted to quit. I even thought of letting myself fail in NSM192 just to be free from all the pressures of complying all the necessary requirements for the SP Proposal. I'm just so happy that I didn't take the idea seriously.

Then, the break-up thingy (though the issue was never that heavy). And then, a few days back.. Hmmm. My discipler texted me regarding "seeding-up". Almost three weeks ago, the best among my spiritual children was promoted. She was chosen to be part of the conquERRors primary twelve. And then, for the second time, Mommy asked me if it's okay to "seed-up" Sheryl. It was hard. I did not respond to her first message. Not because I don't have load or I was busy or something.. but because I didn't know what to say. She's the best among my children after the first "seeding-up". I kept telling myself that I should be proud because the seed was planted in my cell but I really do not know why it's hard for me to decide right away. It took three messages (2 thru text, 1 thru YM) before I finally told Mommy about my decision. I told her it's okay but I pleaded, "Pero My, pwede iapil sa nako xa sa opencell nako this monday my.. Mag-1-on-1 sa my.." (haay.. I told you, it was really hard)

But.. Thanks God, after more or less three days. I was finally enlightened. I should not worry about losing her as my spiritual child because, in the first place, I will be handing her over to the one who molded me. She will be in good hands, that's for sure. And also, in everything that I have, I should give my best to the Lord. And lastly, holding Sheryl would mean a delay in completing the core twelve. We are the foundation of the network and I am well-aware that if the core's not yet complete, the next layers' foundation will never be that firm. And I will be accountable of that. Whoa! Thanks God I didn't entertain greediness.

Ooops! About the title. Hmmm. I am sooooo blessed tonight! Really! There's a lot to thank God for.

First, I was able to ramp! Whoa! Among the girl models, I am the only one who has no PAGEANT TITLE (ay.. naa diay! Miss CAMP RELOAD. hahaha!). I really don't know how to be like them on stage. I hate heels and to ramp is one of my greatest fears! hahaha! But I was able to walk in heels! Overcome fear; do not let fear overcome you. Yehey! (pero nangurog jud gyapon after. hahaha. sagdi lang)

Second, because they took my challenge to them last opencell and invited 5 first-timers! (2 boys and 3 girls) Whoa! power!!

Third, gipasahan ko ni Ivan ug 3 first-timers! (Thanks jud ban2x) Yey! So, all-in-all 7 souls were added to my list of multitudes today! Kinsay di malipay ana?! weeeeeee!

And lastly, I can see that our network's territory's expanding now! grabe! dumadami na talaga tayo.. Salamat Lord! :D

With my spiritual mom, Sheryl (the one with the blue mask) and some of my spiritual children. Happy! :)

And so.. I have proven this once again.. That once you obey God, He will repay you more than what you have given and more than what you expect. GOD IS REALLY AMAZING. I love you Lord! :)

NEED over WANT.

I always wanted my first *real* post to be good, i.e. ministry-related (in my perspective). But I guess I have to redefine good now, i.e. anything that will help me and some people to grow (in all life's aspects).

Maybe you're wondering why you're seeing a very familiar photo of a "once-very-happy-couple" at the left part of this post. Well.. obviously, because this post's related to that. and..yes, that's me.. with my ex (whoa.. I can't believe I'm calling him "ex" now. haha.)

A lot of people know that we broke up last April. But after 2 months, we were back together. All went well for several weeks after the come-back (murag movie. haha). But a lot has changed (of course) and I don't want to elaborate. *sigh* Okay..

*skipped paragraphs*

For a long time, we haven't talk. Why? 'coz lately, I've been very busy I couldn't even manage to say hello to him everyday. And he was not texting either, maybe he's busy too. haaayy. In short, we weren't communicating the way we used to. The relationship's not working. And we both know that. So we broke up again (a few hours ago). The sad part is, through text lang. I have deadlines to meet pa kasi and I don't want to sacrifice it for US.

Honestly, I don't WANT to release him but I feel the NEED to do so. It's not helping us anymore. We've been trying to fix things up but all the more, we clash. We're just hurting ourselves. So, better have it this way dba?

Now, I am still thankful 'coz we ended w/o other party involved and.. prepared. Thanks God for preparing us for this- the two months break-up was really a big help (hmm. I didn't cry. hehe).

Ana jud cguro na dhai.. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice our WANTS to give way for the NEEDS. Cge lang. I AM A CONQUEROR! Certainly, there’s a greater reason behind this. Besides, I know, after this I will be a mightier captain. Hmmm. It’s good to be single man pud diba? I have Christ with me bitaw. I have family and friends din. I am still soooo loved.

BTW, Ate Joycee's text message is very timely (hehe).. “If you’re going to fix a forest, it’s better to periodically stop and sharpen the saw before going back to work. The interruption for saw-sharpening may seem nuisance but, without it, the saw will grow increasingly dull and will have decreased effectiveness”. Wuhoo! Power! I really need this now. This is really for me. YES. I am the saw. What’s happening right now is just part of sharpening my edge. Without this, I won’t be able to pass the best DNA I could have to my spiritual offspring. So I have to endure everything in its extent. I will grow more! I will be sharper after this! I am a Conqueror.. I should always be.

Entrada. haha

It's quite a long time since I signed up and created this blog page. I've posted few entries before but the last time I checked, parang di ako nag-enjoy so I deleted 'em all. hahaha! I'll be posting entries soon but for now *thesis proposal-mode* muna ako. God bless us all! :)